A vote for my daughters

I voted today. I stood in line for an hour. I'm suppose to be resting on the couch. But today's election meant more to me than any other. When we first found out that something was wrong with our baby, we went to a specialist. After sitting with us to explain that the odds for a healthy delivery were slim to none, he asked us if we wanted to continue on with the pregnancy. I never thought anyone would ever ask me that question. But they did. 

There was no hesitation in my mind, nor my husbands for that matter. The doctor had nearly finished his question when we both said yes, we wanted to continue. Which brings me to today. I didn't want to stand in line for an hour, especially with a bunch of strangers as I sat there holding back tears. But I did. I did it for both my daughters. For Hannah, who I pray can someday grow up in a culture that values human life more than "saving the whales" or "tax breaks". And I did it for Sydne, that she always knows how much her mommy values the time I had with her. Not just the precious hours in the hospital, but every remarkable hour I carried her in utero. And of course I did it for all those other beautiful babies like Sydne, who just want the chance to be held, if only for a second.

Tomorrow we are going to the cemetery to bury our little girl. I'm not sure I have experienced anything that is as painful as this process has been. I sometimes wondered why she made it so far only to die an hour after birth. I thought how much easier on us it would be if I had just miscarried, or even had a stillbirth. But who am I to question God's plan. And the time that I spent with her, every kick, every hiccup, every time she decided to have her own gym class in my tummy at 5am in the morning. Holding my baby right after birth and watching her baptism and entry into the church. And holding her as she is lifted up to God. Those are the moments I will treasure forever. It doesn't matter how much pain came with them. 

And so today I was honored to cast my vote in honor of my daughters. A vote that says I love you enough to go through hell so that you can live, if only for an hour on earth, and an eternity in heaven.