The most beautiful sound in the world

My daughter Sydne's memorial mass was this past Sat. I figured I would be an emotional wreck. I stuffed Kleenex into my pockets (thank God for dresses with pockets!). I mean, up until now I have cried at every Sunday liturgy I've been to for the past three months, so what made me think I wouldn't cry at this one?
I was wrong. I didn't shead a tear.
And at first I thought I had done something wrong, somehow betrayed my daughter. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there was a perfectly logical explanation as to why there were no tears (besides the fact that I was emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted). For that one hour during mass my heart was privileged enough to hear the most beautiful sound it ever could. And not just once, but multiple times, too many to remember. And that sound filled my heart with joy and I couldn't help but smile.
What sound am I talking about? Her name. Sydne.
With Hannah, my first daughter, I took it for granted. I was constantly saying her name, at first so she could learn it, and later as I was desperately trying to catch up with her as she ran circles around me. But the point is, whether it was from my mouth or someone else's, I hear the name Hannah probably more than any other word most days.
I took that for granted, until I had Sydne. My heart aches to hear that name. And the funny thing is I wasn't completely sold on that name at first. Months ago, when my hubby and I decided on Sydne, even though I said yes, I wasn't sure I really loved it. But I didn't tell anyone and just went with it. After we decided, I would say it in my head, trying to get used to it, hoping that it would grow on me. And it did, the moment I saw her face. And now, it's the most beautiful sound in the world. I only wish I could hear it more.
And so during the mass, whenever our priest would say her name, it melted my heart and I was so overwhelmed with joy there was no chance for a tear to escape. I had never heard my daughter's name said that much in that short of time, and perhaps never will again. It was one of the most treasured hours of my life.
So to end this post, I will speak to those who read this blog that I actually see on a semi-regular basis. Sure at times it might make me cry, but if you want to make my heart dance for joy, play me beautiful music. Let me hear my daughter's name. It's the greatest gift you could ever give me.